I went in to my family doctor this afternon. I have had a finger that has been swollen for about 6 weeks. The middle joint is very swollen and painful. He confirmed what I was thinking...it's probably rheumatoid arthritis Right before he came in the room I told Wayne to feel how dry my elbow was and as he did he said...you have a lump there. It isn't real big but it's real hard so that rules out a fatty tumor.

I was so glad he found that lump because I showed the doctor that lump and believe it or not he thinks it's related to my swollen finger. Evidently rheumatoid arthritis has nodules like that on the body at spots.

I have had a real hard time with this today. I really thought we had ruled out the rheumatoid arthritis when they diagnosed me with the lymphadema. I just wonder sometimes if it will ever end. I would love to go back and have just the back pain...I would be in pretty good shape if it were so!! The following are the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis....I have the low-grade fever, fatigue, prolonged morning stiffness but not the other symptoms. Anyway, I have to go see my rheumatologist...I kinda dropped her a year ago because I didn't think she knew what she was talking about and didn't want to have a MRI of my feet. Hopefully she won't be mad at me...if she is I'll find someone else I guess.

The following are the most common symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis:
constant or recurring pain or tenderness in joints
stiffness and difficulty using or moving a joints normally
swelling in and around multiple joints
warmth and redness in a joint
difficulty in performing daily tasks
arthritis in large and small joints in a more or less symmetrical pattern on both sides of the body
weight loss
low-grade fever
fatigue
prolonged morning stiffness (over 30 minutes)

I have been just miserable the last few days. My feet are my biggest complaint. My toes are red and swollen and constantly burn and feel like pins and needles. Yesterady I got so frustrated with my toes that I felt like taking my new knife and chopping them off. I got a new shiatsu knife this week. Rachel Ray sells the knife she uses on her cooking show so I bought that knife with some credit I had at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I'm just joking about chopping off my toes but the thought did cross my mind a couple times yesteray. I know it would be worse really:)

Katie, Steve and the boys are on their way to Memphis. Katie, Tyler & Caden will stay with Kristi, Eric and Jacob and Steve will fly to Florida to go shark fishing with his brother and Dad. The kids are so excited about getting together. It makes me feel so good that they are such good friends. These friendships could be lifetime friends. Kristi said Jacob kept going to look out the window for them yesterday. I'm sure Tyler and Caden will feel like they'll never get there since it's a 10 hour drive. That's a long time for little boys. We are watching Bell, their dog for the week but will miss having them around.

My Mom will take me swimming today and I am hoping that it will help my toes. I don't know why I can't get the pain under control. I wrap and wrap them and take pain medicine and nothing seems to touch it.Because of busy schedules I haven't been able to go swimming lately and I think it was really help ing with my feet so I hope if I start to go again the pain will let up. It is just all consuming ...that's the pain that is and I can't stand to think of the rest of my life like this.

I went to have coffee with my 2 aunts (one from California and one from Florida) and my Uncle (from CA) on Tuesday. I really enjoyed being with them and they were genuinely interested in knowing what my life was like with my physical limitations. I usually keep my feelings about what I go through buried deep and don't let myself dwell on it. After telling them about everything I was really low the rest of the day. I actually shocked myself with everything I am going through. It's nice to have people that love me and I know really care about my life. I told my Aunt Marcia when I got home that I was feeling sorry for myself and I guess once in a while it's all right to feel that way as long as I can pull myself out of that and keep struggleing on for my quest for better health.

My cousin..daughter of my Aunt & Uncle... passed away in a car crash when she was 16. My Aunt is here visiting from California and brought pictures of Sonia because I had offered to do an album honoring her life. I went through them today and feel the feelings all over again of how tragic the loss of her life was. She was such a beautiful girl with so much potential but I have to believe that her life had served its purpose and God was ready to have her home with him. It's been about 23 years since her passing (correct me if I'm wrong, Marcia) and the influence of her life still feels as strong as it did those 23 years ago. She will live on in the hearts and lives of those who loved her forever. I want this album to be a celebration of her life and pray that I am up to the task.

This layout is my latest creation and as usual it is for the design team at the scrapbok store. On this one I was to use a little sander and inker. I sanded the flowers and you can just see a hint of the pink ink on the edges of the flowers.

This picture was taken on our porch on an evening when Alan brought the boys over here for a while. I always enjoy it when he does that. I can get to know them a little better...especially Kaleb (the little guy) I thought it was so funny when we went out on the porch for this picture...Kael looked at me so seriously and said..."Can I run away?" to which I replied no. I don't tell the kids no too often but that was one that required a no. It was nice of him to ask thoough.



Our family has had an eventful week last week. First of all Tyler told him Mommy about th is man that wanted him to come into his house and see his 3 children...of which no children existed. Katie and Steve fully investigated this with the authorities and it is in their hands now. Well, this was so stressful to Katie that she had a seizure at 2 AM the next morning. Steve called me at 2:00 AM and it scared me to death. He was pretty evasive about her condition making me susbect that it wasn't good. Later I found out that when he called me he thought she was deat...what a horrific feeling Steve must have had. I am so thankful for a son-in-law that loves our daughter like he does. He is making sure for the next week that she is with someone 24 hours a day. Nothing could make a parent feel better. She has gone through a battery of tests wich were sent to the same neurologist that I am seeing.

Since then I have had trouble physically. I guess that is how stress effects me. Yesterday I was so exhausted I couldn't o out to eat with the family. I felt like I'd been run over by a semi truck and hadn't slept for weeks. I am a little better this morning.

Alan is doing quite well since his fusion. He went to work Friday. He hired someone to help him do the work and he drove. He was tired and sore at the end of the day but in bearable pain. I'm so thankful for his great success. Youth can help heal in record speed:)

My aunt and undle are here for just a couple of days so I hope I have a decent day today so I can see them. I don't get to see them often and just pray for a decent day. My toes have been extremely red lately and swollen and hurt SO badly. Maybe if Wayne wraps them this morning before going to work it will help...I always have hope.

Saturday was the day that I could have gone to Chicago with the design team but opted to stay home because of my health. It was such a sad day for me. I had hoped that Wayne would be here with m to help cope but he had to work till 6:00 PM. I was close to tears the whole day. Some of the losses from my health are just too hard to handle and it am just reduced to tears! I scrapbooked most of the day to try to keep my mind busy.

This is a layout again...dont for the design team. I was to use something from the little die cuts available for pregnancy. I chose the stork. Eutemia sent me a bunch of pictures taken of her before she had Isabella. I think this turned out so good and what a cute shape for being in her 4th pregnancy!

This is a layout done for the Design Team. The turquoise part is a transparency and laid over the layout. It was one of my 4 assignments to use this transparency. It's kind of funny that I had done a similar layout for myself a few days ago.

I woke up this morning with the worst muscle spasms in my back that I've ever had!!! They lasted for about 2 hours and it took 2 muscle relaxers to get them to go away. It is about the worst pain I've ever had in my life. The rest of the day my muscles have been sore from all the spasming. How happy I was when they finally let up. All I could do is pace the floor thill they were gone. Any chair I sat in made them worse and laying down in bed also made them worse. The only thing I can figure out is that we went to the pool yesterday and I hadn't been for over a week and ma ybe I was in the wter too much and that's how my back reacted. I sure hope I don't wake up with them tomorrow. I'm debating on taking a muscle relaxer before bed...I think I'll try it!

Wayne is sick. I think he overdid it last week...or...he caught the bug I had last week. Not sure which but he's been in bed since about 6:00 tonight. Many times he can sleep it off. He and Kristi are both that way. When they're sick...they go to bed and sleep it off!!

Time to watch "America's Got Talent". I love that show!

I did this page yesterday to go with the other beach page of Jacob. I love the big picture here...looks like he's been trying to cross the desert. Actually, Mommy carried him most of the way up the hill:) Kristi did a great job taking these pictures. It's hard to not scrapbook all of them but I try to just pick the best out of them.

Well, it's another day and another added problem. I haven't had headaches this bad for months but they decided to rear their ugly head this morning....actually all night last night. I am surprised since I got the nerve block a couple of weeks ago. I've taken motrin, vicodin and sinus medicine trying to get rid of it and nothing helps. I even had to turn down watching Tyler today and I would realy have liked to see him today. It's been a while since I've had Tyler over here and would have loved to have him but not with this p9ounding headache. I did go to the doctor this week and he said that I have a virus. I asked him why I was swolled so bad and he said it's called systemic swelling and that I will tend to have this when I get sick in the future. Oh goody...something to look forward to:(

The design team really keeps me on my toes. I had a meeting last night and got assigned 4 projects by July 26th. I know it is 2 weeks but with my health I have very few days to actually feel like scrapbooking. And, when scrapbooking for them I try to do an exceptional good job since the projects will be hanging in the store.

Alan is recovering very nicely. It's been kind of a rocky week since his surgery but overall I think he's his recovery is quite fast! He hasn't been sleeping well so last night I encouraged him to take a Tylenol PM. He said he really slept well and it was one of the best mornings he's had since the surgery. I will be so happy if this surgery helps him!!

Wayne is really working hard trying to do his regular work and all of Alan's work. I can't remember seeing him so tired as the last few days when he comes home. I've tried to encourage him to get all the sleep he can so he doesn't get sick. He seems to have the tendancy to get sick when he's overworked!

That's it for today. -

This has been a very hard day for me physically. First of all I woke up so swollen. My feet and legs, of course, were the worse but even my face is swollen. I can just feel it all over. Then by late afternoon I had a headache and nausea. The last hour I've been running in to the toilet feeling like I was going to throw up. I know I would feel better if I could but just sit there so sick. At first I thought it was a reaction to the front moving through but it's come through and I still feel rotten. It's days like this that I just can't figure out what's wrong with me.

I tried to scrapbook a little bit tonight but ended up in the bathroom again.

Wayne is so tired tonight. I don't remember when I've seen him so exhausted as he is tonight. He has been running his own company plus servicing for Alan while he is recouping from his surgery. On top of that the business computer is on the blink. He worked on it all day Saturday and all day Sunday and several hours last night. He finally gave in last night and decided to get a new computer.

Typing is making me sicker. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with another layout and feeling much better!

This is my accomplishment this afternoon. I need to tweak it a little bit because the picture isn't on there straight but that shouldn't take too long! The green is an overlay that you just put over the picture and embellishments! The overlay makes it easy and gives it a real unique look.

I went to my first crop at the scrapbook store Friday night. We had SO much fun. I didn't get a lot accomplished between eating dinner and walking because my back was hurting. But, I did get this one below done and I thought it turned out cute.

This is a layout I did for the design team. We were to use 1 patterned paper and 2 cardstocks. We could use brads, ribbons or eyelets. This is my best friend from junior high and high school. I loved the retro look of the paper since the picture is from the 70's. It's been a big week for the family this week. Our son was supposed to have a microdisectomy on Monday but he told the doctor his pain had changed. The doctor ordered a new MRI and after seeing the MRI he said that Alan need a fusion. I think it shocked Alan and he said he'd think about it. He went home and over the next 2 days the numbness continued to grow further up his body. He went to see the doctor on Thursday morning and the doctor said he couldn't wait any longer so scheduled a fusion for 6:00 that evening.

Alan went home today and is doing very well for what he had done. He is dizzy, weak and nervous. All very much expected for his conditon. He is having to deal now with the losses he will have when he recovers from the surgery. He has loved cycling and jui-jitsu and will have to give both of those things up. I have had to deal with the same things and know how it feels to have to deal with these things. It is a resolve that we have to have and realize it's not worth doing what would cause more pain. He is younger and more active than I was so he'll have more to deal with that area.

I have had a very lousy week. I have not been sleeping at night and it makes my days absolutely horrible. I'm so tired all day long and anything I try to do I fall asleep. I just hope cand pray that I can start sleeping better at night. It is the pain that wakes me up and then I cannot get back to sleep.

I went to my first scrapbooking crop on Friday evening. I have always scrapbooked by myself and the design team decided to have a crop so I wanted to go. I have a really good time and wonder why I haven't gone before!

We are unable to use the motorhome right now for a couple of reasons. There needs to be some repairs done to the generator that are expensive and the cost of gas makes it almost prohibitive. Katie and Steve parked it at Playmor for the summer and they're really having a good time. They went there on July 4th and yesterday Caden wanted to call me. He is really hard to understand so Katie had to interpret for him. He wanted to call me to thank me for getting a couch for the motor home. It was so cute. The boys just love going "camping".