Saturday, February 09, 2008

Today is one of the roughest days I've had for a while. My back is ready to spasm and my feet hurt really bad. Some days I feel it more because I see how fast I'm slipping as to what I used to be able to do and it scares me. I try not to buy into the fear but at times it overcomes me and tonight it is really nagging at me.

Wayne just left to go to Mishawaka. Our son organizes a fight occasionally and tonight is one of the fights. He has begged his Dad to come and see what he has put on. It has become a big thing but it is really so far from what we are interested in. For me, I can't imagine why someone would want to get into a situation and bang up their good body and good health. If you've got the health, try to keep it!! But, Wayne went tonight to support Alan as a person. Of all nights for him to leave tonight is one of the worst. I have a certain time of day when I get depressed and it's always around sunset. As a child that's when I would get homesick at a friends house and have to go home. So, tonight it's about sunset time and I'm feeling really sad and wishing he were here. I can put up with some long hours during the week because that's what I've come to expect but Saturday's are our day together!!

I will try to explain how my feet feel. I know as someone who knows me or reads my blog you must wonder how my feet really feel and why I complain about my feet so much. If you can imagine a rubber band on each toe wrapped around so tight you can't get it around again...that's a beginning to how my toes feel. I am so hoping the foot doctor has something that will help me. If I could get my feet out of pain it would improve my quality of life tremendously!!

I am participating in the scrapbook store's secret pal swap. If my secret pal is reading this please understand that I am not complaining....just trying to explain how this illness affects every part of my life. I got a beautiful gift today. It is from Bath & Body works and is Lotion which I need BADLY!! My poor dry legs and feet will drink that in and I love the fragrance. I also got a body wash which I'll enjoy and a bath soak which I wish I could use but can't because I can't get in a bathtub without my back really flaring up. I will give that to my daughter and she will love it! When I see something like that it's just another reminder that I can't do things other people can.

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