Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What is sweeter than a dandelion bouquet from the hands of a child? Tyler told me he wantd me to keep it forever.

If you look real close Caden had a dandlion bouquet in his hand, too. He doesn't quite have the idea of getting a little stem with the flower!

Tyler is fixing up the flowers as to make it pretty for me.

This is my latest layout. This is Jacob...our daughter's (and son-in-law)'s son. They camped in northern Florida and enjoyed the Florida beach!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

One of my latest layouts of Caden. He isn't always cooperative with picture taking but sometimes if I"m persistent he'll give and give me a million dollar smile!

It's 3:20AM and I'm just coming down off of some really bad muscle spasms. I got in bed about 1:30 and it felt so good and I was so comfortable and then a familiar feeling started to come to me and not but a few minutes later I had an explosion of muscle spasms in my low back. I've come back later to say that these spasms lasted 4 hours! I finally started getting some relief around 7:00 AM. But now I'll be out of it the rest of the day. I just hate that. But I have to do something to get rid of those spasms.

I had one of he best days yesterday that I've had for a long time. My feet barely hurt and my back wasn't bad at all. We went to WalMart for some needed grocery items and then Wayne's sister and her husband came over to visit. They are here from Colorado and it was so good to see them and visit with them. He is just nearing the end of chemo therapy for a tumor in his abdomen. It was interesting to hear what he's gone through. Sounded so like what I've been through in the past couple of years with the feelings of why me? to the sleepless nights!

They did something kinda fun when he lost his hair. They had their friends and family send him hats as their way of showing they care. I thought that was so neat! Never heard of that before but what a unique way of showing support.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to write down some of the cute/ineresting things the grandkids do and say. This week our 4 year old grandson, Kael got his tadpole in the maill. He had the home and had to send away for the tadpole. He was SO excited. The only problem was he wanted to treat it more like a puppy dog and kept taking i out of the habitat and petting it and holding it. It didn't take long for the tadpole to die. The other big thing in his life was that he asked his big cousin who he adores if he l iked h im better or his big sister better. Well, Tyler (big cousin) said he liked the big sister better. It just crushed Kael. He and his family live with my parents (Kael's great-grandparents) and Kael kept talking about how sad both things made him. My mother told him that when she feels that way she prays about it and tells Jesus her feelings and it makes her feel better. So, he decided to do it but didn't want anyone to hear him so she told him to whisper. She heard him whispering and all of a sudden he said....How can God hear me if I whisper? She reassured him the God knew his heart and when he prays it and says it to God that he can change his feelings and his hurts.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Do you know how hard it is to get a good picture of a toddler? I wanted to get a picture of Isabella's cute outfit and this is the best I could get. She left her hat on for about 20 seconds:)

I finally figured out that I needed to get my camera ready to shoot and then say Isabella, look at grandma and then ....shoot! Much better:)
She loved playing with this little car. It's so cute because I was holding her and she started pointing at the car and it took me the longest time to figure out she was pointing at the car and wanted to play with it. She points at things she wants and doesn't quit until she gets what she wants. When she wants to nurse she points at her Mother and says mine mine.
This is the only kind of picture I could get of Kael yesterday. Our son said he wondered if Kael was normal with all the things like this that he does and went to his friends house who has a son 2 weeks younger than Kael and there he was doing all the things Kael does. It made him feel better knowing all these silly things are just being 4 years old!
One of my latest layouts. One of the popular trends right now is to stitch on the pages so the vine with the leaves is all hand stitched.

I had such a good day yesterday. My pain level was really low...I had virtually no foot pain and it was a real treat for me. My Mom had us over for lunch for my birthday dinner and it was so much fun playing with Alan's kids. I even played hide and seek with them. After that I had a design team meeting at the scrapbok store and I always enjoy that !

Then at 2:30 this morning I fell out of my chair flat onto my face. Wayne heard the thud and came running in there to see what was wrong. Wayne thinks I might have had a seizure before I fell because before the big thud he said he heard the sounds of me kicking boxes. I have a lot of boxes in my scrapbook room right now because I'm going through things to get ready for a used item sale at the scrapbook store. Last year I made over $700. But anyway, back to last night... When I got home from my meeting I had signsthat I was going to have a seizure so that's why he had that in his mind. My feet and legs would just start twitching and jumping for no reason. I haven't been able to get back to sleep so I thought I would do some blogging and then play a game. Fortunately I will be home all day and can sleep when I want to.

I just feel so frustrated with this body. I want so badly to be normal but it just doesn't happen for me. When I try to do normal things that others are able to do then I pay for it.

It was so cute yesterday....our son's 4 year old son, Kael, is really warming up to me lately. It took a long time and I'm so thrilled. I feel like he has a special place in my heart (like each of the grandchildren do) because I witnessed his birth. It's the first birth I'd ever seen and it was so exciting to see a grandchild come into this world.

So, Kael was standing by me and looking at my face and said...why do you have those red lines on your chin? I said they are broken blood vessels. He said why do you have them? I said when y ou get older a lot of funny things happen to your body. Then he saw a mole I had and said...what's that Grandma? I said a mole. He said what's a mole. I said a big freckle....for a loss of words to explain a mole. Then he said why do you have water on your neck? I said because I'm sweating. Then he got me a napkin and tried to help me wipe the sweat off. It brings tears to my eyes even now now to think he would do that. Such a loving gesture.

Kael had scarlet fever this winter and it is still affecting him now. It had caused him to be so emtional. He cries at the littlest thing. And, he needs so much quiet. I think all the noise of everybody made him nervous so he went to the guest bedroom that he calls the green room because of the colors in the room and laid in the baby bed for the longest time. Wayne and I both went in at separate times to make sure he was all right and he seemed very content. He came out later and was just fine.

So as you can see I have the very good and the very bad things in my life and they always seem to been connected. Wayne is so protective of me and it upset him to see me overdo it yesterday but sometimes I just have to do it to feel normal once sometimes.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I've had a rough week so far this week. I just have no energy and sleep all day long. There are things I want to get done but everything...even scrapbooking...seems like it would take too much effort. I am beginning to wonder if I'm not a little bit depressed. I see myself going downhill as far as my health goes and it's really hard to face. I think what started to make me look at this is that my drivers license is expired and I looked at my picture from 5 years ago and what a change!! I can see what a huge change in health I've taken in the last 5 years. I worry that if the next 5 years is that drastic what I'll be like. But.....I am trying to take this just one day at a time. Some days I'm successful at it and others I'm not.

I am thankful for so many things though. Wayne has stuck by me through everything. He calls me several times a day and really cares how I feel. My mother has been blessed with better health and is able to help somewhat. Right now she's busy with our son's family and helping our son's wife but if I would need her I'm sure she'd be here. Our children are all very respectful of me and of my limitations. I know they'd like Mom to be like she used to be and so would Mom like to be there but life doesn't always give us what we want. God doesn't always answer our prayers. Let me rephrase that....God doesn't always give us what we ask for. I have tried hard to figure out why this would be given as my cross to bear and I always come up short of an answer. I've always tried to please others and God and even spent many years traveling around the area giving concerts for just pennies.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me! Below is what I pooled my birthday money to buy. I have this machine only it is half the size. This one is much more versatile and I've had fun playing with it and seeing the capabilities. I am giving my old one to our daughter, Kristi. She loves doing crafts and I think she will really enjoy having it. There's nothing wrong with it and I've enjoyed using it for 2? 3? years.
It's a few minutes before eight o'clock this morning and it's all ready been quite an adventerous day for me. When my muscle spasms begin I can always feel them in my right leg first and I woke up with that feeling at 4:30. It didn't take long for the spasms to be full blown spasms. It's real hard to explain them except to say that they rock my whole body. I can't sit but have to pace using both canes. They lasted their usual time and that's about an hour and fifteen minutes. That's how long it takes for the medicine to start working on them. All I can say is that I'm so thankful for that medicine. I can't imagine having the spasms for more than the time I have them all ready. When they go away all I can say and feel is...what a relief!!! My body feels like its been through a battle...and it has:)

Yesterday was hair day. I got my hair highlighted and cut and get it all done here at home. Steve (Katie's husband) and Wayne got their hair cut while my highlights were processing. I love it that she comes to the house. First of all, it's a total convenience for me and 2nd of all it's about half the price. I save money and the beautician makes more money than doing it in a shop where she'd have to give a part of her money to the owner. And, the good thing is that she's really GOOD!! I trust her completely.

I hadn't written for a while because it's hard to write when all I do is stay here at the house...don't see anyone but Wayne at night and nothing exciting happens!

Since I posted last I had a birthday. My whole family remembered me and we're celebrating Sunday afternoon. It will be fun to celebrate with all the little kids. Our kids are all so good to me. They know I suffer with pain and I know I could turn to any one of them for comfort and they'd be there. That alone is the only birthday gift I would ever ask for or want but it's nice to get the icing on the cake sometimes too.