Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Last Friday night the design team got together at the scrapbook store and we all cropped together. I had a really good time and this picture was my only accomplishment. I have noticed that I'm a little slower than many of the ladies but I'm sure it's all the meds and the pain that slow me down because my nature has always been to be the fastest at everything I do. Thanks to Jennifer for helping me with this layout...I love it!!

I paid for all the fun Friday night because I woke up with horrific muscle spasms in my low back Saturday morning. It took an hour for the muscle relaxers to work and I can't begin to tell you how horrible that pain is. It seems I always have to pain for my fun:(

Today is Wayne's birthday. I totally forgot when I got up until I got on my computer and saw the date so I called him right away and sang to him. He is so carefree about what should happen on his birthday compared with me..his wife..who thinks I'm princess of the day:) and milk it for all it's worth. I guess that's one of the things I really love about him...his selflessness. He's been a good example through the years to watch and learn from.

I am also frustrated this morning. I have been fighting a cold and heaping that on everything else I just feel worthless. I have several pages to get done for the design team and a huge I mean HUGE pile of laundry to fold and put away. Wayne does the laundry and piles it all on the chair in the bedroom. My whole house is a mess and I really like it orderly. I need to unload the dishwasher and here I sit...not wanting to do a blessed thing. It's all ready ONE O'CLOCK!!! I will give myself a little bit...maybe another hour and then try to do one thing at a time.

I have myself pictured in my head as the person I was before all the health issues....and the weight gain. I'm trying to take a picture for the bio page I need to make for the new design team and every one I take I look so fat and sick and unlike the person I feel like inside. It just emphasizes all the changes I don't want to accept. I read email from family and friends and it seems like everyone's life gets to move on except for mine. I am stuck in this horrible pain and I look like crap and feel even worse. Sounds like a great bio, doesn't it? My house used to be so clean and neat and now I haven't been able to clean it for about 8 months or more. I clean the bathrooms and Wayne cleans the kitchen floor and sweeps and that's all that gets done. I guess men don't see dust but I do and when I try to dust the pain just gets too out of control...so I am stuck with a dusty and what seems to me a dirty house. I would love to go back to the house we had to sell because of medical expenses and have it clean like it used to be with everything in its place. That's really who I am:)

I went to the dentist yesterday because I lost a big hunk out of my tooth eating a pretzel. I almost had a panic attack when he was telling me what he's going to have to do and showing me the x-ray and seeing all the decay. The tooth that I lost the hunk out of has decay down to the bone and he is afraid he will have to cut out some of the bone. The one next to that has decay..the one next to that has decay under the crown and the last one has decay and needs a crown. So, his plan to save money and make it easier on me is to pull the tooth with the hunk missing out of it and make a bridge between all these teeth with a mere cost of....$3600. The only good thing is that I can be sedated while he does this...otherwise he wouldn't like how uptight I get when I have my teeth worked on. I saw a little girl in the dentist chair having her teeth worked on when I was walking out and she was doing so well. I had to tell myself I used to be that little girl but a lot has happened since then making me the person I am today.

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