Sunday, May 21, 2006

Tyler had nursery school graduation on Saturday morning. He had a very good turnout that came to support him. He had his Mom, Dad & Caden, Aunt Kristi & cousin Jacob, cousin Rhebeca...his good buddy, Great Grandma Marilyn & Great Grandpa Dick, Great Grandma MaryLou and Great Grandpa Vic Great Grandma Norma, Nana & Paw Paw, Grandma Becky & Grandpa Wayne. He was probably the best represented of the whole group.

His first program was Christmas 2004 and he wouldn't even come out on the stage...he was shy and scared. He has come a long way since then because he stayed on the stage the whole time and even sang 2 songs with the gr0up...the second group he sang with his eyes closed but I saw his lips moving. I felt so sorry for him to be that scared in front of people.

I almost didn't get to go. I had woke up with a lot of swelling all over my feet, ankles, hands, etc. were all almost double the size and I hadn't been able to urinate for almost 24 hours. I was lucky enough to get into the doctor (and MY doctor, too!!) at 10:00...the program was at 10:30. The urine was fine and I told the doctor what I suspected. I had started taking Lyrica for the nerve pain in my feet and it was causing all the symptoms. He said I wasn't the first one he had seen that swelled up so badly with Lyrica. The only other choice for nerve pain was Neurontin and that's the medicine I gained so much weight taking. So, for now I told him I would continue taking the pamelor for my neuropathy and asked for vicodin for the pain. The vicodin really helped and we got out of the doctor's office just in time to get to the graduation.

I am just today beginning to feel better because everything is working again and the swelling has gone down considerably all ready. I had not continued with the diet for several days because I felt so sick but tomorrow I'm ready to hit it hard again!! Wayne told me yesterday that he was hungry 2 hours after lunch...he wondered why that would happen and he wasn't hungry at all when we were dieting. I told him it's probably because we were eating foods so high in fiber that they were helping to keep us feeling full! He's ready for us to get started again too. When I get so sick and am retaining all that fluid and am nauseated the last thing I want is a salad. I just have to accept that about myself and on my good days I can count calories and do what I can to drop weight...on the bad days I just have to accept that I feel too sick to diet. I just hope the good days will begin soon to outnumber the bad ones!!!

I felt so discouraged about my limitations over this weekend. I think it was from not only feeling sick and wondering what was wrong but I also saw all the other grandparents helping with the younger siblings at the nursery school graduation. They were all doing what I want so badly to be able to do. Sometimes it just overwhelms me with grief for my good health and I just wonder why I have to suffer with this when others enjoy so much better health at the same age and older. I feel that way too when an older person goes around me with their cart at the grocery store and I'm in the electric wheel chair. Most of the time I can deal with it but this weekend it was hard to deal with. I'm beginning to accept it again by tonight and that's where I need to be.

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