Monday, October 16, 2006

I am still not feeling very verbal about my life and what is happening. Wayne and I had an experience a few afternoons ago that was hopefully healing for both of us. He was questioning me as to why I push myself so hard to spend time with and be with our Grandchildren. He thinks it would be better for me to do more resting. Anyway, I told him what had been in the back of my mind but hadn't verbalized yet. I am afraid I won't have too many more months or years where I can play with them or have them over. I want them to remember me for having a good time and fun when they come to see me....I don't want to them to see a Grandma that is always in pain and always in bed/not feeling well. We both sobbed for the longest time when I told him I'm worried that my time for being active is very limited. We can both see how much I have failed in the last two years. If I continue at that rate I don't know how much more I can push myself. I am sorry to be so down and depressing. These are the things I'm dealing with. I do hold in the back of my mind the fact that the rheumatologist said I need to be patient with her...she can get me feeling better but it will take a while. That is the hope I hold onto when I get the feelings of doubt.
I wanted to post pictures of the birthday party for Wayne and Eutemia from yesterday but I can't seem to be able to upload any more pictures tonight. I guess the rest of the pictures will come later!!
Tyler and Caden playing football with their Dad. In the next 3 pictures are Tyler and Caden enjoying a beautiful fall day!

Caden enjoys coming over to our house now and I can get along all right watching him now for a couple of hours. His two favorite toys when he comes here are this doll house and train track. The funny thing is that he played with it the first time on this "day bed" and now he thinks he has to play with it there everytime he comes here.

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