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This may not interest anyone but it is emotionally healing for me to write about my pain and my life right now as I work toward better health and less pain.
I have just gone through the worst 10 days that I can remember. I could not get control of the burning in my feet and I was just miserable. I tried walking in the pool, kept taking my medicine for nerve pain, kept going to physical therapy and it continued to get worse. I didn't feel like scrapbooking or driving or doing anything....not even blogging. When the pain is so intense I just can't get myself interested in anything. And then on Friday the pain all of a sudden let up to a bearable amount. I wish I could understand what makes the added pain come or even what makes it leave. I had to wake Wayne up in the middle of the night several times to massage my feet. When I'm in pain the nighttime is the hardest time. I feel so all alone ... even though I know Wayne's here...I just don't want to wake him up unless it's absolutely necessary.
I hope hope hope that the pain stays at a low level today because tonight is the first design team meeting at the Memory Zone for 2008. I have looked forward to this meeting for several weeks and don't want to miss it and don't want to be in pain either. Then, I hope I' m able to do my assignments in the next few days that I get tonight.
My Dad had a biopsy in his neck on Friday. There is a mass there and the doctor's want to rule out another spot of cancer. We're hoping it was all confined in his kidney. My Dad acts so brave about it but I know he has to be a little worried. I think the hardest part of this cancer ordeal for him has been that he had to stop takng the medicine that helped his arthritis. Now his pain is so much worse but what I understand is that he has to be careful what he eats and what medicine he takes so the remaining kidney doesn't get overloaded.
Our daughter-in-law, Eutemia, and Rhebeca (9 years old) and Kaleb (2 years old) took the South Shore to Chicago last week. They all had such a good time. Eutemia had to go to the Brazilian consolate to try to iron out some mixed up paperwork. One of the stops the South Shore made a lady got on the train wearing a big fur coat and fur hat. Kaleb looked at his Mom and asked her why that bear is on the train. I have laughed over that several times...out of the mouth of babes! Kaleb has had a hard time adjusting to having a new baby sister and she has to be watched carefully so he won't hurt her. Well, this trip and being with his Mommy did him a world of good. He has even been nicer to his sister. We all decided that when Kaleb starts getting mean to Isabella againt that they would go to Chicago again:) He just need that TLC from the Mommy that was "his" before Isabella.
This weather and the snow brings back memories of our neighbor man when I was about junior high age. His name was George and he was the nicest man. He would hitch up his horses to either the sleigh or the wagon with not wheels but sleigh wheels. It was SO much fun. He had paths through his woods and would take me or me and my friends for a ride. As an adult I realize how much work that must have been to hitch up those horses and take us for rides. I wish he was still alive so I could thank him still...but since that's not possible I have to pass it on and do things for other people that goes beyond the expected.
I'm thankful for small things...like one little pill that packs a lot of pain relief in it!!
Poor little Kael has the stomach flu. Today he had stomach cramps and diahrrea (sp?) 10 times in just an hours time. He kept saying he just wanted to die. How sad for a little 4 year old. Thank goodness that he will get better and as a healthy child he will get better fast!
Katie took me swimming today. Tyler came along and went swimming with me. I love to ask them questions when it's just myself alone with them. I asked Tyler how old he thought I was. He thought about it for a moment and then with his hands spread out to 10 fingers he flashed them 9 times meaning I was 90 years old. I asked him then how old he thought his Mom was. He thought again and then flashed his fingers to count out 100. So, Katie is 100 and I'm 90. I told Katie and she was shocked that he thought she was older than me. I told her I thought it is probably because she has more authority over him than I do. Children can be so interesting if we just keep our opinions quiet and let them talk.