Above is my latest Design Team project. I was supposed to do a layout on "why I scrapbook". All those little faces are truly the reason why...they are a great motivator.

I am at peace tonight. All day Friday, Saturday, Sunday and most of Monday the foot pain was at the unbearable. Monday afternoon my Mom took me swimming at Swan Lake. When I got out of the pool I didn't know how I was going to walk to the car because the pain was so bad so I looked in my purse and had 2 toe wraps. I sat down and wrapped my toes while my Mom dressed the two little grandsons that swam with us. The pain let up significantly. I went home and took my foot medication and all of a sudden the pain relented. My Mom said she was increasing her prayers to pleading with God for some relief and Monday afternoon I got it. Thank God for the relief. Was it the swimming? the prayers? the pills? or all of the above? I don't know and really don't care except that it went away.

I hadn't driven for weeks and within a half hour drove to WalMart for some things I needed and I enjoyed just looking at things and being by myself and not worrying that I was keeping someone from something because they were waiting on me. Now, I want to say to the ones that take me places...I really appreciate every single thing you do. Mom, for all the errands you help me run...Katie, for all the Starbucks you bring me and Wayne, for sitting in the car while I shop at different places. You are all so good to me. But, there's nothing like being able to do it myself.

That said, this was a one time thing and I will probably be needing you again soon:)

I sent Wayne the cutest card for Valentines Day. It was one of the ones you open up and it plays music. The song I sent him was..."You're Still The One". I asked him while I was cleaning things up Monday night (during my freedom from pain) if he wanted to save the card and he did. He just came into the computer room to show me how the card works. He had it all torn apart and found out the chip the made it work and showed me the speaker it needed to hear the music. I told him I thought the card was much prettier when I sent it to him and he said he liked it torn apart much better so he could see how it worked..ha ha!! The difference between men and women?....maybe one of them:)

Tonight is the big night...the top 10 boys singing in American Idol. I all ready have my favorites. They are David Archuleta (if you have some free time go to "You Tube" and type in his name and scroll down and listen to him sing "Mary, Did You Know"?...it is so beautiful it gave me chills), David Cook, Jason Castro and DAvid Hernandez. We'll see how my guys do tonight!

Kelly, thank you so much for the acronym on fear. I'm going to print that out and keep it somewhere that I can see it frequently. I have a lot of fear I deal with...not just fear about the foot pain so it think can benefit me in many areas of fear in my life:)

We got no help at all from the foot doctor. He told me he is an orthopedic foot doctor and what I need is a neurologist who deals with nerve pain. So, I called the neurologist and will go see him at the end of March. The last time I saw him he made me mad but I will give him another chance. At the end of my last appointment he told me I was on a lot of medication. Well, like I didn't know that all ready. When we got to the car I went over the list of meds with Wayne.

There's meds for thyroiditis...gotta take that
there's meds for my foot pain (3 pills)...gotta take that
there's meds for high blood pressure...gotta take that, don't want a stroke
there's pills for back pain, really need those ...that's 2 pills
there's a pill for high blood sugar, really need that
and last but not least are pills for laxatives...anyone with a pain pump like me needs those

Now, why didn't the doctor go over the list like that with me instead of making me feel like I'd done something wrong? I think if he brings it up again I will ask him what he suggests I cut out of the list? Other than this one incident I have really liked him so maybe he will give me some help with my feet...I always continue to hope!

Yesterday (Friday) was a rough day for me physically and mentally. I can usually keep my spirits up and don't get depressed very often. The foot pain yesterday was just almost unbearable. When I went to the foot doctor one of the questions they asked me is if the pain ever gets bad enough that I want to cut my foot off? I thought that was a rather odd question for a doctor's office to ask me until yesterday...then I understood. I was ready to cut off my toes the pain was so bad.

I take quite a few pills (unfortunately) in the mornings and to guard against stomach upset I usually take the pain pills first. I take 3 different kinds of pills for my feet and when I first wake up I take those and the pain pill for my back. I don't take much for my back since getting the morphine pump installed...thank goodness! Sometimes in the mornings I'm so sleepy when I take those pills for my feet that I can barely focus my eyes. The pain was so bad yesterday that I was really depressed about my situation.

Around 4:00-4:30 in the afternoon I was going to take the rest of my morning pills and what to my amazement was one of the foot pills I forgot to take. That certain pill is called Tegretol and is actually an anti-seizure medication but they have found the the anti-seizure medications help with nerve pain. I would imagine that not only did my feet hurt from not getting the tegretol but I think I went through some withdrawal from not getting the Tegretol...it is a very strong medication!

It makes me so thankful for these pills that keep the pain under control most of the time. I cannot imagine my life without them:)

I had to reschedule my last appointment with the foot doctor. Tomorrow is the day we go to see him. I cannot wait to go. I can't help but be very full of anticipation that he may have something to help my poor feet.

Today is the worst day I've ever had with foot pain. Wayne said that there is a front coming through tonight and I have begun to notice that my feet are worse when there is a front coming through. I just couldn't do anything to get out of pain and feeling that way I didn't get ONE thing done in the house today. Didn't put my dishes in the dishwasher, fold the laundry or didn't even feel like getting dressed. I just ordered a pizza because it sounded good and I did make my way into the bathroom and brushed my teeth since I have to open the door:)

You know what my fear is? I get very fearful when the pain gets so bad and I finally figured it out today. I am so afraid that this will be the time when there is no relief from the pain. Every other time I have found some way, taken a pill, used the foot massager, wrapped my toes and feet/legs...and I've gotten relief from the pain. When I am in an episode of pain like today I get afraid that this is the time it will stay like this forever and I don't know if I could bear it! Oh well, enough for the worrying because by about 6:00pm after I took my foot pills and wrapped my own toes (and that's no easy feat) then all of a sudden the pain relented and was almost gone completely. Go figure:) I don't really care why it goes away...I just care that it does go away!!

My Valentine - Martina Mcbride

Wishing everybody a Happy Valentines Day!! May you be with the people you love most and have that love returned. After 35 years of marriage we have learned what love is all about. It's waking up at 3 am and wrapping my feet or telling him to drive carefully instead of hurrying home. It's caring for the others needs instead of your own. And, it's enjoying each others company no matter what we do. I am unable to go to the movies many times and even though Wayne would like to go out to eat or out to the movies he cares enough about me to stay here and be content. That's true love and I am so thankful for the love of my spouse on this day that we celebrate love. I don't need jewelry or candy or flowers. I just need that person who loves me and cares about my needs above his own which makes me want to do the same in return.

I usually don't post this early in the morning. It is 5:22 am and I am awake and in a quandry all ready today. My right leg is so numb this morning that it will not support the weight of walking on it. The last time I tried to walk on it l ike thia I ended up falling. It's just all so frustrating! I am also just barely starting to get slight muscle spasms in my low back so I guess I need to bite the bullet and get walking and hope this leg starts getting some circulation in it and quits feeling numb.

Sunday was probably the best day physically I've had for months. The pain in my feet was virtually gone and it felt just SO good. I felt like doing so many things that I didn't know what to do frst...so I ended up going to my father-in-law's 80th birthday party and then on to WalMat to get some groceries. I didn't want the day to end...but it did and woke up yesterday with the same old pain as usual.

I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon in Elkhart with a physiatrist..... not a phyciatrist but a doctor of physical medicine. One of he things he will ddo is to fill out the forms for my disability but I'm hoping he might have some good ideas to help me.

Jacob on his gocart

Before you watch this video you may want to go to the bottom of the page and pause the music so you can hear our daughter talking. YOu will see two small straigt lines on the left side and just click on that.

Jacob looks so little to be riding a big go-cart like that and then I remember our kids showing big quarter horses when they were 3 years old. They looked pretty little on those big horses too:)

Today is one of the roughest days I've had for a while. My back is ready to spasm and my feet hurt really bad. Some days I feel it more because I see how fast I'm slipping as to what I used to be able to do and it scares me. I try not to buy into the fear but at times it overcomes me and tonight it is really nagging at me.

Wayne just left to go to Mishawaka. Our son organizes a fight occasionally and tonight is one of the fights. He has begged his Dad to come and see what he has put on. It has become a big thing but it is really so far from what we are interested in. For me, I can't imagine why someone would want to get into a situation and bang up their good body and good health. If you've got the health, try to keep it!! But, Wayne went tonight to support Alan as a person. Of all nights for him to leave tonight is one of the worst. I have a certain time of day when I get depressed and it's always around sunset. As a child that's when I would get homesick at a friends house and have to go home. So, tonight it's about sunset time and I'm feeling really sad and wishing he were here. I can put up with some long hours during the week because that's what I've come to expect but Saturday's are our day together!!

I will try to explain how my feet feel. I know as someone who knows me or reads my blog you must wonder how my feet really feel and why I complain about my feet so much. If you can imagine a rubber band on each toe wrapped around so tight you can't get it around again...that's a beginning to how my toes feel. I am so hoping the foot doctor has something that will help me. If I could get my feet out of pain it would improve my quality of life tremendously!!

I am participating in the scrapbook store's secret pal swap. If my secret pal is reading this please understand that I am not complaining....just trying to explain how this illness affects every part of my life. I got a beautiful gift today. It is from Bath & Body works and is Lotion which I need BADLY!! My poor dry legs and feet will drink that in and I love the fragrance. I also got a body wash which I'll enjoy and a bath soak which I wish I could use but can't because I can't get in a bathtub without my back really flaring up. I will give that to my daughter and she will love it! When I see something like that it's just another reminder that I can't do things other people can.

This post is all about American Idol so if you're not interested or not a fan you can hang on till my next post.

Mikalah Gordon and Matthew Rogers have been the hosts of American Idol Extra on Fox channel...same channel as American Idol. Things are going to be a little different this year because they have chosen Gina Glocksen and Constantine Mouralis to host the show this year. That should be prety interesting! The first show will be March 17th at 10:00 eastern time.

If you like surprises don't read the following....but here is a list of the Top 24. So...here it is.... This list is subject to change but is the closest people can find to the Top 24 names. If you would like the site I go to to find all the American Idol information it is http://mjsbigblog.com/

The top 12 girls:
1. Asiah Epperson
2. Alaina Whitakar
3. Alex Lushington
4. Amanda Overmyer
5. Amy Davis
6. Brooke White
7. Carly Hennessy Smithson
8. JoAnne Borgella
9. Kady Malloy
10. Kristie Lee Cooke
11. Ramielle Malubaf
12. Syerha Mercado

The top 12 Boys
1. Chickreze Eze
2. Colton Berry
3. Danny Norieza
4. David Archuleta
5. David Cook
6. David Hemandez
7. Garrett Haley
8. Jason Castro
9. Jason Yeager
10. Luke Menard
11. Michael Lee Johns
12. Robbie Carrico

This is what I worked on during the crop with the design team Saturday night. It was very time consuming because the layer under the circle was done in about 2 inch segments and had to be added under the circle. It is Tyler in the picture holding the dggs he'd found!

Here it is 5:48 am and I've all ready had a rough morning. I woke up with slight muscle spasms in my back at 4:30. I know they will develop into big ones so was getting up to take a muscle relaxer. They take about an hour to work so I need to get them down me as soon as possible. Well, my right leg was numb and gave out on me and I fell right on my back...just what I didnt need. Wayne was sleeping and heard me fall and has been up keeping me company through these horrific muscle spasms. At one point I asked him to shoot me and he refused. Now I'm glad he didn't but at the time would have welcomed it. I have never had pain as bad as these spasms right into my tail bone. They are so strong they rock my whole body.

I had a tooth pulled 2 weeks ago and got along fine. I just haven't done real well in the healing process. I think the dentist is starting to understand me. When I was in the dentists office yesterday getting it packed for the 2nd time he said...you're not a real fast healer, are you? I thought...you're getting it now. I've been dealing with a dry socket and they are pretty painful...enough so that it's woke me up several times at night. He put me on an anti-biotic and gave me some pain medicine.

I had such a good time Saturday night. Both design teams got together to scrap. I had really missed some of my friends from the team last year...mostly Kelly and Charity (Jen too!). Kelly and Charity were both there and it was so good to see them They are both such positive people and have become good friends. I have missed having friends since I've been sick and have needed it SO bad. Also good to see Molly again who is my cousin's daughter...is that a 2nd cousin?

Most of you who know me know that I am very warm most of the time. Well, here at home when Wayne isn't home I open the windows and turn off the furnace when I'm feeling that way. That's when I love the cold weather. Anyway, I hadn't locked most of the windows all over the house so I could have easy access to just lift the window up. Wayne noticed a draft coming from one of those windows several weeks ago during one of those cold spells. We went around the house and locked all the windows sealing out the cold air. We couldn't believe what a difference it made in our utility bill. Last month was $270 and the one I got a couple of days ago was $220. $50 dollars!! I am sure that is the reason why because it sure hasn't been a warmer month in January. Just a tip for anyone else that might want to check their windows.

Tyler spent several hours here one day last week. There is a computer game that we like playing together. I can't believe how competitive and childish I get when I start playing with him. I have to keep remnding myself that I'm an adult and he is a child. Well, the whole time he was here I kept asking him if he was hungry or if I could fix hi a sandwich to eat at the computer. I kept getting the same answer. Finally he said he would drink a milkshake if I made one for him. Well, his Mom called after she picked him up and said I have to tell you a story. She said I know better than this but you will laugh. She said he started working on her to go to a drivein and kept saying Becky wouldn't get me anything to eat...only drinks! I know he wasn't saying it against me...he was just trying to work his Mom and trying to get her to go to a drive-up...and it worked..ha ha!!

Kael's cast for his broken arm. He chose dinosaur's for his cast. I guess he thinks showing his cast for a picture is pretty serious business.

Kael was here for a few minutes th is afternoon and Wayne called me to come quick and bring the camera. Wayne found something unexpected in the crane. As you can tell by his big smile..Kael liked that!!

I had one of the worst mornings today that I can remember. I slept for about 4 hours straight and woke up with that familiar feeling...muscle spasms. Sometimes they are bearable but this morning they were totally unbearable pain. They were so violent that you could see them shake my whole body when they would spasm. I took my muscle relaxer but knew it would take an hour to take effect. Wayne was supposed to go out of town today and I begged him not to leave until I was feeling better. He decided to change around his day today and I was so thankful. He worked in the warehouse (which is our garage revamped) all day. We got a shipment of new cranes in and he always has to go over them and make sure everything is working properly.

He only had to leave for about 3 hours to go get the cranes this morning but waited to see that I was doing all right. I had to take another type of muscle relaxer along with the first and they finally started working but I was sleeing-unable to wake up I was worried that I took too much and asked Wayne to make sure I kept breathing. That is the danger of taking too many muscle relaxers along with the medicine in my pump. It slows the respiration and many times a person will just stop breathing.

Once I was awake this afternoon, Katie brought me a Starbucks...always a welcome treat. She had to run to the bank so I said Caden could stay here. While he was here, Jacob called me crying (our little southern grandson from Memphis) Jacob was upset because Mommy didn't know how to hook up the Nintendo game and wouldn't call Daddy at work. Caden heard me talking and

said...give me the phone. I want to talk to Jacob. They are just a few months apart and are good friends all ready at 3 years old. I heard him say I will come and fix it for you Jacob when my Mommy gets here she can bring me. There was a pause and he said...because I love you. Oh, how to tug at a Grandma's heart!!!

Now I'm gonna try to get some scrapbooking done. I's my best time of day and I really need to get some work done for my projects due this week!

This is my latest layout that I just finished a few minutes ago. I didn't even have to do it for the design team this time ... although one of the members put a sketch up on the design teams board for the members to try out and see how different all our layouts turn out. I love how feminine this one turned out!

Here it is 2:35am and I am wide awake. I went through with getting my tooth pulled today and it went great. My dentist offers the use of sedation and because of a bad dentist I have a lot of fear of the dentist. I am very hard to get numb and it wears off real quickly so my former dentist would get impatient and go ahead and drill and wowee! did that ever hurt

I am now remembering what novacaine does to me... I can't sleep when I've had it and because of my problem getting numb the dentist uses a LOT of novacaine! So, I am just starting to feel a little bit tired.

If all goes well I will get my tooth pulled tomorrow. I am going in phases to get a bridge done..one of two that needs done. I am starting to have concerns that I have cellulitis in my right hand. It is swollen and very red...just like my leg looks when I have cellulitis.

I am not sure what to do about the dentist but will do some reading online and then show the dentist when I go in there in the morning.

I had one of the worst days today that I've had for a long time. I woke up in horrific pain and by noon it let up to a bearable level. I am thinking it might be the front that moved in this morning.

Not much else new cause I don't do much when I feel like this:)

Layout done for the design team!

I just finished this layout today. I love how it turned out. It is one that I did for my new design team. I love this picture of Kaleb. He is such a handsome little boy...just look at those eyelashes:)

I am thankful that I had a decent day today. My best friend from high school is here in town because her father passed away. It was so sad to see my friends mother...she looked so sad. They had been married for 57 years and worked side by side all those years. He was a doctor in LaPaz and his wife was his nurse. My friend lives in California near
San Francisco and she wants to take her mother home with her and it sounds like the mother is willing to go. Every time I had seen the mother (Evelyn) recently or actually in the last few years she would hug me and say how happy she is to see me and the tears would just flow. She is a Canadian raised woman and was alway so proper but put up with the antics we two girls would think of. I can rememer her always saying..."Oh dear" and there would be a smile on her face. I feel sad that she will be so far away from us now and now my friend, Andrea, won't have any reason to visit Indiana.

Whenever Andrea and I get together you would think there had been no time lapse in our being together. We can pick up talking after 10-15 years of not seeing each other. My heart feels so heavy that they won't have a reason to visit here anymore. Maybe if she weren't so busy she would stay with me for a few days. I guess after all this settles down I can write her and ask her if she would be willing to do that. She and her husband work together as realtors in the San Francisco area.

They were worried about getting the cats (2 of them) and their golden lab out to California. The airlines won't fly them unless it is above a certain temperture and we are way below that. So, I came home and looked up in the internet to find courier services that drive the animals to their destination. I found 5 places. I was surprised how many I found. I called Andrea and left the numbers for the places on her cell phone.

My feet have been slightly better lately. Wayne and I think it's because I stopped eating pretzels that are so high in sodium. I had been eating them as a snack because if they are baked that means they are much lower in calories. You just can't win sometimes!! Anyway, maybe a little bit of the swelling went away from the lack of sodium.

My next big hurdle is to try to get a little more sleep at night. A good night is 4 hours and that just doesn't cut it for me. Lately it's been lucky to get 1 hour of sleep at night. So many times I have gotten out of bed with terrible muscle spasms or with my right side completely numb. So, now I don't want to get in bed because I don't want to wake up with muscle spasms or with my right side numb. I'm going to work on talking to myself about this and getting in bed and trying to sleep. My solution is to go from the bed to the recliner and keep moving back and forth even when trying to sleep.

Magnetic Park/Bird Park...whatever you call it this is the natural well that is usually in the middle of a grassy field.

Behind this building is where Tyler played t-ball last summer. He'd need a boat to go back there now.
This is the covered bridge that is in the Centennial Park.

I have just gone through the worst 10 days that I can remember. I could not get control of the burning in my feet and I was just miserable. I tried walking in the pool, kept taking my medicine for nerve pain, kept going to physical therapy and it continued to get worse. I didn't feel like scrapbooking or driving or doing anything....not even blogging. When the pain is so intense I just can't get myself interested in anything. And then on Friday the pain all of a sudden let up to a bearable amount. I wish I could understand what makes the added pain come or even what makes it leave. I had to wake Wayne up in the middle of the night several times to massage my feet. When I'm in pain the nighttime is the hardest time. I feel so all alone ... even though I know Wayne's here...I just don't want to wake him up unless it's absolutely necessary.

I hope hope hope that the pain stays at a low level today because tonight is the first design team meeting at the Memory Zone for 2008. I have looked forward to this meeting for several weeks and don't want to miss it and don't want to be in pain either. Then, I hope I' m able to do my assignments in the next few days that I get tonight.

My Dad had a biopsy in his neck on Friday. There is a mass there and the doctor's want to rule out another spot of cancer. We're hoping it was all confined in his kidney. My Dad acts so brave about it but I know he has to be a little worried. I think the hardest part of this cancer ordeal for him has been that he had to stop takng the medicine that helped his arthritis. Now his pain is so much worse but what I understand is that he has to be careful what he eats and what medicine he takes so the remaining kidney doesn't get overloaded.

Our daughter-in-law, Eutemia, and Rhebeca (9 years old) and Kaleb (2 years old) took the South Shore to Chicago last week. They all had such a good time. Eutemia had to go to the Brazilian consolate to try to iron out some mixed up paperwork. One of the stops the South Shore made a lady got on the train wearing a big fur coat and fur hat. Kaleb looked at his Mom and asked her why that bear is on the train. I have laughed over that several times...out of the mouth of babes! Kaleb has had a hard time adjusting to having a new baby sister and she has to be watched carefully so he won't hurt her. Well, this trip and being with his Mommy did him a world of good. He has even been nicer to his sister. We all decided that when Kaleb starts getting mean to Isabella againt that they would go to Chicago again:) He just need that TLC from the Mommy that was "his" before Isabella.

You never know what you've got till you lose it. I'm sure we've all heard that and at times it really rings true. I've discovered it with my health...I really long for the old days when I felt well most of the time and could sing every weekend...driving myself there. Well, the last few days I've been without sound on my computer. It's just a little thing but I really missed it. I had gone into my add/delete programs and got carried away in cleaning off what I thought I didn't use and accidently vanished my sound too.

It has been snowing here the past few days. I think it started either Monday night or Tuesday night. Sitting in my nice warm home and looking at it from the inside made it look so beautiful. If I had been in my car and trying to get somewhere in a hurry wouldn't make it look so pretty. I took the above pictures out the front and back doors or our house. I thought the trees looked like a winter wonderland! The snow has stuck on the branches all week and I have just loved watching it. Today it still looked that way only the sun was shining and it was even more beautiful. This would have been a day my Grandpa Al would have loved! He appreciated the beauty of nature and passed it on through his daughters.

This weather and the snow brings back memories of our neighbor man when I was about junior high age. His name was George and he was the nicest man. He would hitch up his horses to either the sleigh or the wagon with not wheels but sleigh wheels. It was SO much fun. He had paths through his woods and would take me or me and my friends for a ride. As an adult I realize how much work that must have been to hitch up those horses and take us for rides. I wish he was still alive so I could thank him still...but since that's not possible I have to pass it on and do things for other people that goes beyond the expected.

I have been really worried about my feet this week. I am taking the highest dose of 3 different medicines for my feet and none of them can be upped. The pain has just been almost unbearable. When I was taking my pills tonight I noticed that one of the pills to ease the foot pain was missing in all the evening pills. YIPPEE!!!! I was so happy to find a reason for the added pain. I went in and added that pill for the rest of the week and tonight I feel better than I have for several days.

I'm thankful for small things...like one little pill that packs a lot of pain relief in it!!

Poor little Kael has the stomach flu. Today he had stomach cramps and diahrrea (sp?) 10 times in just an hours time. He kept saying he just wanted to die. How sad for a little 4 year old. Thank goodness that he will get better and as a healthy child he will get better fast!

Katie took me swimming today. Tyler came along and went swimming with me. I love to ask them questions when it's just myself alone with them. I asked Tyler how old he thought I was. He thought about it for a moment and then with his hands spread out to 10 fingers he flashed them 9 times meaning I was 90 years old. I asked him then how old he thought his Mom was. He thought again and then flashed his fingers to count out 100. So, Katie is 100 and I'm 90. I told Katie and she was shocked that he thought she was older than me. I told her I thought it is probably because she has more authority over him than I do. Children can be so interesting if we just keep our opinions quiet and let them talk.

Isabella at 5 months

Isn't she beautiful??

I was cleaning up my emails this afternoon and found this picture. I had about 250 emails and had somehow missed this one and was sure glad I found it.

I also found a coupon from Staples....buy $50 and get $25 off. I was getting my order ready and found out it expired Dec. 22nd. How disappointing.

Happy New Year!!

Wayne and I would like to wish you the very best in the year 2008.

I started physical therapy last week after about 6-7 months of a break from it. I think it's supposed to help but I have been much much worse since starting it. My whole feet have been burning and my right leg is almost constantly numb and it's swollen up past my knee. I am really afraid she's made things worse. I will be calling my doctor today and trying to get him to call me back and see what he thinks I should do.

I am working on the album for my Aunt & Uncle's deceased daughter. I needed more paper for it so went into the scrapbook store last night to get some paper. I got there and started feeling really light-headed and was sweating profusely...not like I usually do but like turning up the volume onthe sweating. It was 4:30 and I was afraid they closed at 5:00 so I asked the owner how late they were open and thankfully it was till 6:00. I told her I wasn't feeling well and I'm sure she could tell so she brought me some cold water and a cold cloth. That helped me so much..it took a few minutes to get feeling like I could get some more shopping done! I found some great paper and was on my way to WalMart. I had to get a few groceries and it was dark when I got out of the store. I walked out to where I thought the car was parked but couldn't find it...I was really stressing and decided to press the open door on the remote door opener. Come to find out I was standing right next to the car. I called Wayne in tears because I hadn't noticed the car and he said to remember that I wasn't feeling well...he said there's nothing wrong with your mind.

I woke up to the worst foot pain this morning at 2:30. I always feel panicy when the pain gets this bad. I think part of it is not knowing what is going on with my feet and legs. I'm so afraid of losing the use of them. I just hope that if I keep walking in the pool that it will strengthen them.

Wayne took Beca and I to the pool on Saturday and I noticed quite a bit of the fence was knocked down. I told him I thought some kids were probably messing around and took it out and Wayne said it looked more like an accident. Well, funny thing is when I was in the scrapbook store the employee started talking to me when I was sitting and resting. She said the owner had totaled her van the night before (I think?) and took out part of the fence by Swan Lake. Wayne was right! It was an accident. I was sure glad she wasn't hurt. I guess she managed to hit every side of her van...kind of like a pinball machine bouncing around.

Happy New Year to you and the best of the new year!!!

I changed the song this evening to this song by Celine Dion. It is kind of sad but expresses so well the feeling a parent has when their child moves out and leaves home. I think that was the saddest time of my life...when our children moved out for college, marriage, etc. I won't leave this song on long but thought it was beautifully expressed in this song.

I started physical therapy again Monday. My doctor thought I should because of he recent bouts with cellulitus I had. It had been a long time (about 6 mos) since I had therapy so she had do to another evaluation. I have to lay on my back on a hard table for that and it really hurts my low back. I wanted to be a good sport about it and not complain but when I got home my back was just screaming in pain. I ended up having to take extra pain medication. I just hope that this helps with the feet and legs.

There was a student in the office learning physical therapy and I am somewhat of an oddity so she asked a lot of questions. I kind of knew it all but I will try to explain it here. Before I got the morphine pump I was in so much pain for so long and I didn't move around much...it was just too painful. It caused the fluid in my legs to start pooling in my ankles. I went to my family doctor many times with the swollen foot..especially worse on the right side. He finally sent me to a foot doctor who said it was plantar faciitis and treated me with shoe orthotics. That seemed to help a little bit for some reason. But the swelling came back again and then I started having burning in my feet...especially my toes. Well, with the burning pain my doctor thought I probably had pheriferal neuropathy. Not sure the spelling is right but it's close. It was 2 Christmas's ago I started on medicine for that and I remember that because the first 2 weeks I was extremly sleepy. I slept almost the whole time at my parents house. I went to Mayo Clinic last winter and they finally diagnosed it as lymphedema. We were so lucky to have someone trained in wrapping legs right here in Plymouth...Rosie!! (forgot to mention that in the last year before the diagnosis I had several bouts of cellulitis in my right leg) The therapist taught Wayne in several sessions to wrap my legs and he's been doing it ever since....2 sometimes 3 times a day.

What I had forgotten or maybe didn't want to remember is how dangerous the cellulitus is. If the infection gets out of control it can be life threatening. Now I know even more how important it is to exercise in the pool to keep that fluid moving and to keep them wrapped.

Tyler came over here this afternoon and we found a new game. We have been playing a series of games on the computer called Granny in Paradise/Super Granny. We found Super Granny 4 today and it's brand new. The fun thing about it is that we can play it together and work together in winning the game. We both laughed so hard and I think it did both of us a lot of good to laugh. When we got to his house today he was crying so hard because his bionicle that we got him for Christmas that he worked so hard t0 build had broken and he didn't know how o fix it. So, me with my added pain and Tyler with his frustrations both needed a good laugh. I know I sure felt better after we played that game.

Wayne and I want to wish you all a wonderful Christmas Day today. We pray that you will feel the joy of the season as you celebrate with friends and family!

We got some really bad news yesterday about a family member. Our brother-in-law has cancer in his lymph nodes and a mass in his stomach. He has been having stomach problems and this is the reason why. Please remember him in your prayers as he starts chemotherapy and radiation. His name is Ken and his wife (Wayne's sister) is Vickie. Our hearts are heavy today as we have this news in our minds even as we enjoy our grandkids and their excitement of the day.

Merry Christmas!!

Lightfoot Christmas 2007