Shingles, Day 8

I would love to say the the shingles are gone and I'll be writing on something else. But...they're still here. You know, what's funny is that I don't have any makeup on and my cheeks are very rosey. The scabs are healing nicely. The thing that is bothering me the most is that I have a scab right by my tear duct on my right eye. It is the one that feels liks sandpaper on my eye. It was so painful last night that it kept me up all night. My eyes are both starting to turn black and blue underneath but one side is worse than the other. I am really ready for these things to go away.

A representative from Real Services came by today to explain to me and have me sign papers to sign up for Medicaid. The way I understand it is that they go by my income which is my disability check I get for $525 each month. The only snag we ran into is that my name is on the title for 2 of our vehicles. For some reason my credit is better than Wayne's right now so that's why we put my name on the titles and the loan. She's going to to check on it and see if it will present any problems. If I can get accepted there are some wonderful benefits. All my medical bills will be paid. They would go the Humana (private insurance) first then to medicare and what medicare didn't pay medicaid would pick up. I would get 5 hot meals delivered each week. I would have someone come to the house and do whatever needs done..cooking or cleaning. There are other things that I am probably not remembering.

Shingles Day 6

My biggest concern on day 6 is that I have several scabs on my eyelid and I can't tell if there are some inside my eyelids or not. My eyes feel like there is sandpaper on then. The good news is that I took a shower and washed and dried my hair today and that felt mighty good.

This is how the shingles is progressing. I am so worried that it has affected my eyes. I go to the eye doctor in 2 weeks so he'll be able to look into my eyes and see if they were damaged by the shingles. My eyes burn so bad and I hate to keep trying to rub them so Wayne went out late the other night and got me some eye drops for dry eyes and that helps a little bit. I sometimes wonder what I've done in life to allow the suffering I've gone through. I have a few scabs in my hairline but my goal for today is to wash my hair because I can't stand it any longer this dirty.

By the way...you wouldn't think I would even care how I look but I do and I took this picture myself and my nose looks huge:) It's not really that br
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At the chance of grossing you out..this is a picture I just took of myself. Not having a great hair day..haha! This is shingles and it's the second time I've had it and I am miserable!! I am trying to keep busy and kep my mind off of my discomfort. My one eye that is almost swollen shut is the most uncomfortable. Shingles is a "cousin" to chicken pox and, in fact, I could give chicken pox to someone who has never had them.

I was supposed to have my beautician come to the house and put color on my hair today. I was excited about it because she just got back from the hair show in Vegas and said she had some different ideas for me. As long as it's not bright red or pink I am pretty open-minded. Well, I called her and told her what I have and she opted not to come because she has only had a light case of chicken pox and doesn't want to get a rip roaring case of them.

I hope this is on the downside of the worst pain. When it starts to scab over is when it is getting better. You can see that the worst spot is between my eyes and it is starting to scab over..thank goodness!!

A couple of days ago I started to get what I thought was a pimple between my eyes at the top of my nose. Well, it has gotten bigger and bigger until this morning when I woke up my eye was almost swollen shut. It hurts SO bad. Wayne thinks it is a boil because he's had several boils and knows what they look/act like. Not that I didn't believe him but I went ahead and called the doctor on call yesterday and he told me I need to be seen today and called me in some antibiotics.

I have an appointment at 11:00 and will see what he thinks it is.

Wayne had a boil that was so big it swelled like this one and swelled his eye shut. I'm afraid that the doctor will want to lance it but if he does it might feel good and relieve all the pressure.

The good thing today is that my beautician is coming to the house to put some color on my hair. She just got back from a hair show in Vegas and said she had she had some good ideas for my hair. That will be fun!!

The next two pictures were taken with my old very expensive camera...but look at the yellow cast it gave the pictures. I was so disappointed. I can work on them and get them decent looking but I'd rather have them come out nice to begin with. I could manually adjust this camera if I knew how but I don't know how...so...I got a new camera. After these two pictures all the rest were taken with the new camera. I love it!! It's just a small point and shoot but takes really nice pictures.

These pictures are taken with the new camera...no yellow cast/tint. These pics were another photo op I took so I could do some valentine pictures. Becca is always a good subject for anything my mind can dream up for her. Thanks Beca!!!

We are dog sitting this week and love having Belle come and stay with us. She is such a well behaved dog and never makes any messes. She loves her toys and they have to have a squeaker in them. You can see her pink toy behind her!

I saw these big suckers (or lollipops as Caden---in the red shirt-- informed me) for $1 and couldn't resist them for a photo opportunity and then some great scrapbook pages. It's nice to have these kids to use when I have an idea for a great picture.

Wayne worked 16 hours yesterday and it's a big big day for him but becomes a very lonely day for me so my Mom picked me up and brought me to her house. I was so glad because I enjoyed everyone's company. The time just flew by when I got there. Below is Kael and he was drawing me artwork and he is GOOD! I couldn't draw as well as he can. He drew me 7 pages of his private collection and I will date it a cherish it.

As you can see...Isabella is a little character. I told her to say cheese and this is the smile I got...how funny! I gave her some lotion and told her to rub it on my feet because they hurt and she was so tender and had such a good touch for a little child. She loved it and kept doing it until the the lotion started flying all over the room...whoops!

Isabella tried to join Kael and do some artwork of her own but didn't stay at it very long.

Our son and his wife and their 4 children came over here Tuesday night for a meal and gift-opening. The kids were so excited that as soon as they came into the door they started asking to open their gifts. It was so much fun to watch their excitement...that's what make Christmas exciting...to watch their excitement and joy!

This is Kaleb and he is 3 years old. His interests are generally whatever his brother has at the time. One of his gifts didn't work right...figures:) Another was a doctors kit and he had fun going around giving everyone a shot and we were supposed to yell...after all...doesn't everyone yell when they get a shot...or at least want to and keep it hidden?

This is Isabella and she is about 19 months old. She loves baby dolls right now and I found this one that even I liked. It would drink from the bottle or suck its pacifier till it fell asleep and it did a bunch of other things but I couldn't take it out of the box before I gave it to her and once she got it there was no touching it.

I put the kids gifts in big gift bags so they would know which gifts were theirs. With 4 kids to watch open it turned out to be a good idea. This is Kael. He is 5 years old and the big thing this year is Bionicles. They come in many many parts with directions. He studies the directions until he gets it all figured out. He talks about Bionicles all the time and usually is holding one in his hand. Last week he called me and he went on the Bionicles web site and explained everything to me for what seemed like hours:) He kept saying...see that Grandma Becky? Isn't that cool. I had to remind him that I can't see through the phone.

This is Rhebeca and she is 10 years old. Her interests this year were items from the Harry Potter movie that you can buy from Noble Collections on the internet. I was reminded over and over again about the correct web site to find what she wanted. She also got a hair straightening iron and a bling cover for her cell phone and a book with the paints and directions to do face painting. She came up with the cutest face paintings on her brothers!

Today will be our first Christmas party. Our son and his wife and their 4 children will be coming over tonight. They are leaving for New York Christmas Eve so this was one of the best times to be with them.

We decided to keep it simple and have pizza and DQ cake. Well, that wasn't enough for me...I had to make the layered salad because I like a salad with my pizza. It took me 2 hours to make the salad. Between frying a pound of bacon and boiling eggs and washing and drying the lettuce and sitting down to rest many times because my back would start to hurt it really did take me 2 hours. It better be good!!! That's one of my favorite salads.

After all that work and staying up too late playing games on the computer I woke up with horrible back spasms at 5:30. It's now 7:10 and they're just letting up. What I dislike the most about having to take these pills is that they will make me SO sleepy by this afternoon. So...I better get out to the kitchen and wrap the rest of the presents.

I'll have pictures from tonight for the blog tomorrow.

Here are a couple of pictures I like of our grandchildren.

Beca giving her brother, Kaleb, a big kiss. She really loves her little brothers and sister.

Kael got himself ready to play baseball. I think he did it by himself...how funny! The black thing hanging over the front of his face is the strap for holding the helmet on.




I am feeling much better about the Chicago doctor and the treatments he wants to do today. I can't say I slept on it because I had muscle spasms all night...starting at about 11:00 pm
and ending about 5:30 this evening. When the spasms last so long it leaves me exhausted and my back hurtingl AND...what I dislike the most is it leaves me so sleepy. I've slpeepy..yawn,,

I reread what I wrote yesterday and it made no sense at all. I was really sleepy and kept falling asleep yesterday. My doctor said one more thing on Monday that I had forgotten about. He said the pain and my posture because of the pain has caused my bone structure to change. It is especially prevelent in my legs and hips. I think that he thought if I could get some of the relief from the shots if the shots relieved the pain enough that I would stand upright and differently. I could see it once he pointed it out and it is pretty scary to see my bone structure changed. But, I have hope that if anyone can help that this man can do it!!

Becky

It has been a way long time since I have posted. I've lost interest in everything I do and I think it adds up to a little depression.

Today was the "big day". I had my appointment at the the Rehabilitation Institute in Chicago. We got there in the nick of time. It's further to Chicago than I remember. The hospital is downtown Chicago. It had a great view of Lake Michigan...except today it was all fog...no lake. The building appeared very old but it was spotless clean.

I really liked the doctor I saw...he was friendly and down to earth and honest. We started the appointment by giving my history which is no easy task. Wayne is always helpful in that area. The doctor examined me and then left the room while I got dressed and he figured out a game plan.

He came back in and said you (me) have had pain for a long time. It has to have affected your psyche, hasn't it? Holding back tears I said yes, it sure does! He then said something I have never thought of. I had told him that the drip from the pain pump is at T12. He said if you have pain that badly then that pump isn't covering everything. He wants to find out what it is that causes the pain. He will do several lovely tests...an EMG and Facet Injection were 2 tests he mentioned.

My job now is to gather information and mail it to him. He wants the report from when I went to Mayo Clinic last year and the reports from my last 2 MRI's. Then I'm to call him a week after he gets that and he will tell me what he wants to do first.

So, we felt very hopeful all the way home and then when we got home it hit me HARD! I've had those tests done before...what is different? Wayne and I talked about that and ended up sobbing in each others arms. No more to say except to ask for prayer that I will accept this new game plan even though it has evidence of "old solutions".

My Mom has had a really sore foot with a lump. It's been hard for her to even walk. She went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago. He said he thought there might be something inside the lump so had it x-rayed. The x-ray technician didn't see anything so he treated her with anti-biotics. Nothing has changed after a round of antibiotics and the swelling (and pain) was starting to go up her leg. She said he stood back and looked at it and said he still thought there was something inside that initial swelling. So he sliced it open and started looking and found a sliver of glass...the cause of everything. She's now taking anti-biotics again to fight any infection. He told her that he was praying that he'd find whatever it was and she was praying at the same time. They both agreed that it was an answer to prayer.

Becky

Kael wanted to show me his sad look:( I asked him what happened to his cheek

and he told me his "broder did it". It's tough having those brothers ...even

when they're younger.

This is Kael's happy look!!

We were at a basketball game watching Rhebeca. The only problem was that Rhebeca's team was playing Tyler's school. This look is real...not put on. He really got into the game and wanted his school to win! Katie said she text Tyler's Daddy and said you'd think it ws the Super owl s upset as he was getting. Tyler's little brother (Caden) is the one in the background sticking out his tongue.

Rhebeca is the one with the ball. I'm just SO proud of her!

Beca is the one in the last row on the right hand side.

Here she is...ready for the ball to be passed to her:) She just loves basketball and I'm so happy for her to find a good hobby that she's so passionate about.

Bella was here for a short time today and the first thing she asked for was Papa Wayne. She just loves him.

Jacob's 1st birthday
Do you think he likes cake?

Jacob driving at a fair in Tennessee...he seems to be enjoying
himself and he picked the backseat himself.

It's been a while since I posted. I tried a couple of times and things are a little different so I just gave up!

I was supposed to go to Chicago on the 20th of October. Unfortunately I was too sick to go. I was was very sick to my stomach. I had the flu and pneumonia shot the day before and don't know if that was part of reason?? Anyway, there was no way that I could have gone. I am now scheduled to go to Chicago for an evaluation on December 9th. I am a little scared to hear what they have to say about my condition and also a little hopeful that they might help me.

My Dad went through renal failure and staph infection in his blood last week. He hung on by just a thread. He wanted someone there with him and my mom stayed the 1st night and my brother came up from Indianapolis and spent the next night with him. These are the times I wish my health was better so I could help my family in a time of need! I am happy to say that his appitite has returned and he is on the mend. He gave us all a real scare.

Yesterday was one of those days that are totally worthless....at least I feel that way. I woke up at 6:00 with strong muscle spasms that are located in my tailbone but my spasms are so strong that they make my whole body spasm. I waited an hour and moved around to see if the spasms would let up but they just got stronger. I finally gave in and took the medication and after I take that it is sleepy time. Well, the spasms lasted all day and I had to take meds 3 times. They finally went away around 10:00 pm.

I was so disappointed because I had wanted to go to my Aunt's 85th birthday party at Beef O Brady's. I haven't seen all that side of the family since I got sick about 10 years ago. I was really close to my cousins growing up. We always had a good time together.

Today is a big day for me...ha ha!! I get to go to WalMart and maybe the Scrapbook Store. Wayne had to work this morning but should be back around 1:30....and I'll be ready!!

Finally!!...I have had a hard time getting in the post area of the blog. Maybe that's because it's been so long since I posted.

What's new? Lots:)

I had a root canal and 2 teeth pulled and a bridge work done at the dentist. This dentist is so good that I only had to take one pain pill for the pain. What I like the most is that the dentist uses conscious sedation. I was in the dentist chair for 3 hours and it seemed like a few minutes...it's the way to go for me!!

I have an apointment on Thursday of next week in Chicago at the Rehabilitation Center. They will do a physical exam and decide if they can help me. I believe that if they think they can help me I will stay there for a couple of weeks. I will have 3 hours of physical therapy every day...ugh! If I do go there I will have to find a way to get a laptop computer. Then I can use the computer while I have ice packs after therapy....just joking but may be a reality. I was a little bit relieved when they told Wayne that it would be different types of therapy...physical, occupational and etc.



I have noticed that I have really taken a step in my abilities. I am having a hard time keeping up on my design projects. Thankfully the leaders are very understanding telling me to just do what I can get done and don't worry about it. That takes off a lot of pressure.

These are two of our grandsons, Tyler and Caden. They are our daughter Katie's (husband Steve) boys. I love this picture and how they are holding hands. They really do love each other and Caden really misses Tyler when he's at school.

Isabella, the cutest witch of the midwest:) Her mommy made her this costume. Her Mom has so much talent and creativity. She is selling many of her items at children's boutiques. I can't imagine how long this must have taken. That tulle fabric is so pretty but also so hard to work with.

I'M BACK!!! I think this is the longest that I've gone since I've blogged and I was really starting to miss it. I went to my doctor and didn't like what he had to say and yet I knew there was a lot of truth to it. He said that I needed to get to a rehabilitation center or I would lose my ability to walk within approx. a year. I have experienced a lot of losses in that last few years but losing my ability to walk would be the biggest one to deal with!


So, we are working on getting me into the Chicago Rehabilitation Institute. I was talking to our supplemental insurance company today and before I accidently cut off the call they said in order to have my stay there to be covered I would have to have 3 hours of some kind of rehabilitation every day. And then my cheek hit the button on the phone and cut us off. I'll have to call back tomorrow and find out again how much they would charge us.

Today was another awakening of something I would have to give up soon! I wanted to get to the scrapbook store and get my secret pal a gift that is due on the 1st. By the time I got home I was sweaty, exhausted and in a lot of pain. It took several hours and some ibuprofen to get feeling a little bit normal. So, driving may be the next thing to go...but the good thing is there are people that are so willing to drive me places. My Mom, Wayne, Katie, and Barb (from the scrapbook store). So, what is a negative thing it can also be positive to know that there are people who love me and are willing to drive me places.

Now, I'll quit complaining and I do have a couple of cute Isabella stories. #1...she climbed into the bathroom sink and turned on the water and put her cute little cowboy boot under the faucet. #2...Isabella went to the toilet and took off her diaper and peed (sp?) right in front of the toilet. The second time she brought Grandma little pieces of toilet paper after she had gone pee in her diaper. These little stories and these grandchildren in general keep me going on my bad days!

Tomorrow is a big day in this town...actually the last couple of days have been big with the Blueberry Festival. Tomorrow is the parade and Wayne and his Dad and two of our grandchildren...Rhebeca and Tyler will be in the parade with them. Wayne's Dad owns a laundromat and has rigged up one of his washers to where he sits in the middle of the washer and drives it and the kids carry balloons and dress up however they want. Rhebeca is Pebbles Flintstone this year and Tyler is Ben 10. Wayne is going to be a clown. I think he's got some really silly ideas planned. Sometimes I don't understand men. We got the clown costume in earlier this week and I showed it to Wayne. He hasn't touched it since. I sure hope it fits all right:) T0morrow morning Eutemia (Alan's wife) will put their makeup on. I'll be there if I can to take pictures of them getting ready.

I feel kind of sad that I can't go to the parade. I definitely can't walk that far and don't have anyone to push me in the wheel chair. Wayne used t0 drive and take our parents and my grandmother and Aunt. He would get us right close so we wouldn't have to walk very far. I have a lot of good memories associated with this weekend and I feel sad that all I can do now is stay at home.

The last 3 nights I have dreamed about my grandparents. I was so close to both of them and my parental gtandmother and I really had a special love for them. I'm thankful for the memories I have and I think that has made me aware of my own grandchildren and the memories I want to create with them.

These two layouts are my latest. It sure helps to have great pictures to work with. The first layout is Isabella, of course:) The second one is Tyler when he was much younger. I think he was 2 years old...almost 3. The layout with Tyler was cut off on the bottom by the scaner...in real life the pumpkins really show.

Yesterday (Wednesday) was a big day for me. I am terrified of going to the dentist and go to one that puts me out...almost. I am conscious but am asleep at the same time. It's hard to explain but I am out of it enough that it takes the fear away. And, yet I'm awake enough to follow directions...like I don't know how many times yesterday he had to tell me to open my mouth.

I had a root canal yesterday and preperation for a bridge. It's so nice to not worry any more about that tooth where I had the root canal acting up. Many times I would have to run to the bathroom and put toothache medicine on it. What a relief!!